Sports Illustrated Takes Their Cues from Seattle Offside
By: Steve |
6 Comments
Breaking News: After the success of the MLS Hair Report, Sports Illustrated has decided to latch on to and leech off of my and Akeem’s brilliant and creative ideas.
To quote the article:
A distinctive mullet that soon would light up MLS matches identified Juan Carlos Toja to FC Dallas players during their 2007 preseason trip to Brazil, yet soon enough they realized in this case, whatever impressions that image might suggest didn’t fit the man.
“A lot of players in South America wear their hair that way,” says FC Dallas coach Steve Morrow, who himself keeps very short what little he has left, of his Colombian midfielder. “You’d think he’d be like a rock star, but he’s not that way at all, just the opposite in fact.”
Toja, in fact, is perplexed and somewhat embarrassed by all the attention lavished on his mane, which just months after his first MLS match prompted club management to stage “Juan Toja Wig Night,” an honor previously bestowed upon a fellow countryman, former superstar Carlos Valderrama. Aside from their distinctive ‘dos and shared heritage, they’re as different as attacking midfielders can be.
If you had not noticed, the site purposely declined to give a publishing date in order to quiet speculation on the illegal “borrowing” of intellectual property. Their lawyers can expect to hear from me soon.
BITERS!!!!!
In other news, according to sources at GoalSeattle.com, the second best site for Seattle Sounders FC coverage, Sounders FC gear is now available from WinCraft, Inc.
Tags: The MLS (Messed-up Lock Syndrome) HAIR REPORT
By: akeem | 33 Comments
Akeem Samuels and Stephen Roshenshein
Many question the style of American Soccer, whether it’s the lack of talent, slow play on the field, or the overall inconsistency of the on-field product, many hate on the MLS. But, should hair be an issue? Certainly not. An American league should be able to operate without Eurotrash mullets, girly looking men with long hair, limp afros, frosted tips and ugly mops.
I know the MLS salaries are piss-poor, but even I can afford a hair cut on $30K a year. Supercuts has weekly specials and repeat customer discounts! The following players have been warned: cut it or be gutted.
In the words of the immortal, talented and schizophrenic singer-songwriter Wesley Willis, (known for his hit songs “I whooped Batman’s ass” and “I whooped Superman’s ass”):
“Get the rat’s nest off your head
Get that crazy-ass mother off your skull
Take your ass to the barber shop
Tell the barber that you’re sick of looking like an asshole”
Please let us know if you disagree with any of the choices and be sure to include your own if we left anyone off.
User Generated Content
By: Steve | 10 Comments
It’s the new trend in blogging so I would like to leave my 14 faithful readers with the awesome option of choosing the next article for the Seattle blog. Here are the options. Vote by leaving a comment and remember, you can vote more than once!!
1. Fight to the death for Seattle soccer blogging supremacy between me and GOALSeattle.
2. 20 Reasons My Parents Should Buy Sounder FC Seasons Tickets
3. The MLS Hair Report
4. Personal tales of binge-drinking
5. Unfounded rumors of high-profile transfers to the Sounders FC.
Remember, every vote counts. Tell your friends.
Who Be Poppin’ the Bubbly?
By: Steve | 26 Comments
by Akeem Samuels and Stephen Rosenshein
Adrian Hanauer would like us to believe that he and fellow Seattle Sounder FC owners, Roth and Allen, are assembling a world-class squad with talent from around the globe. He has been scouting in Africa and South America, looking for players that will propel the squad into the so-called “major” international cups and competitions that MLS teams play in within the first three years of expansion.
In sports, it is always fun to root for the underdog or the Cinderella squad. We love to see a minnow like Cardiff make its way to the FA Cup Final, or a lower seeded March Madness team show-up a nationally respected program. In soccer leagues around the world, we tune in to newly promoted sides to see if they can stick around in their countries top flight. In the MLS, where there is no promotion/relegation system, expansion is the closest thing we have to the epic struggle to stay afloat.
At the end of the 2009 campaign, will the Sounders FC be popping champagne or cooling off in the cellar? Here is a brief look at the history of expansion in the MLS and how Seattle may stack up against past expansion squads.
A Look Back
MLS expansion began in 1998, when the league went from 10 to 12 teams, adding the Chicago Fire and the Miami Fusion. Miami ended the 98’ season in relative mediocrity with a 15-17 record including 5 shootout wins. In 1998, the MLS did not have ties (gag), but did have the playoffs (double gag), which the Fusion entered as the 4th seed in the Eastern Conference.
The Chicago Fire, on the other hand, faired much better. The team ended up with a 20-12 record and eventually toppled DC United 2-0 in the team’s first ever MLS cup. They also completed the unlikely double by beating the Columbus Crew to claim the U.S. Open Cup title.
Still struggling to gain a foothold on American soil in 2001, MLS had to retract two of the twelve teams. The Miami Fusion and the Tampa Bay Mutiny were eliminated from the league. However, expansion began anew in 2005 with the franchises Real Salt Lake and Chivas USA. Real Salt Lake ended up 5-5-22 (yay, ties!) while Chivas ended up 4-6-22 and dead last in the Western Conference. It was not a pretty sight for expansion teams that year.
In 2006, the San Jose Earthquakes brought out the moving trucks and became the Houston Dynamo. Since their relocation, the Dynamo, though not necessarily a true “expansion team” has enjoyed a stellar 26-16-20 record and 2 MLS Cup championships.
As the MLS continued to grow, 2007 saw the league cross the border into Toronto. Despite a raucous and sometimes riotous fan base, Toronto FC had the worst record in the MLS in 2007, going 6-7-17.
The MLS returned to San Jose this year, where the current squad is currently 1-1-3 thus far in 2008.
Here is a look at the performance of current MLS expansion teams through 2007
Team – Overall Record (W, T, L) – Years in the League, # MLS Cups
Miami, 56-10-56 .500, 4 years, 0 MLS Cup
Chicago Fire, 143-54-108 .557, 10 years, 1 MLS Cup
Real Salt Lake, 21-23-50 .346, 3 years, 0 MLS Cup
Chivas USA, 29-27-38 .452, 3 years, 0 MLS Cup
Houston Dynamo, 26-20-16 .581, 2 MLS Cups
Toronto FC, 6-7-17 .316, 0 MLS Cup
Ice the Bubbly?
So out of five genuine expansion teams, Houston not included, only Chicago has enjoyed first season success by winning it all their first year. How was Chicago able to pull off the seemingly impossible? Simple, they put a talented squad on the field.
Under head coach Bob Bradley (ring any bells?) Chicago featured some quality international players like Poles Peter Nowak, Jerzy Podbrozny and Roman Kosecki, Mexican Jorge Campos, and Czech Lubos Kubik. In addition, the side featured a few quality homegrown products like Josh Wolff, Ante Razov, and Chris Armas. With the right combination of talent, and just maybe because no one saw them coming, the Fire took the championship in their first year as a franchise.
Can the Seattle Sounders FC follow in the footsteps of Chicago, or are they more likely to suffer a tough first season like most expansion franchises in most sports leagues?
Well, in a league like the MLS, where no one team is light years ahead of another, anything can happen. If the Seattle owners turn out their pockets and shell out big bucks for a quality roster, I have little doubt that the side will be competitive.
It is highly unlikely that they can win the championship their first year. It is possible we will never see another MLS expansion team win it all in their inaugural season (congratulations Fire fans). However, with the right draft picks and signings leading up to the kick-off season, the Seattle Sounders FC will have more cause to toast champagne than chill out in the cellar at the end of the 2009 campaign.
Sounders FC Update
By: Steve | 4 Comments
Only 330 days until kick off!
-It looks like there is a lot left to do.
-It’s Derby Week in the Northwest
-The Seattle Sounders got their first win this year by blanking the Atlanta Silverbacks 2-0 last night. It was a rematch of last year’s championship which Seattle won 4-0. Future MLS Seattle Sounders FC player Sebastian LeToux recorded his first goal of the season.
-Even Seahawks GM Tim Ruskell knows that soccer shouldn’t be played with football lines on the field.
-Ticket pricing information has been released and can be found here.
On another note, I was wondering if anyone (I’m looking at you, Laurie) will be attending the Brazil v. Canada came at QWest on May 31st? If so, would anyone be interested in writing their impressions, not necessarily of the play itself, but of the general atmosphere and feeling of the stadium? Let me know.
Category: Seattle Team NewsSounders FC to Make First Signing
By: Steve | 11 Comments
10 months from the inaugural season, the Seattle Sounders FC is prepared to make it’s first official signing today. The club wont have to go far to do so. French striker, Sebastien Le Toux, last year’s USL MVP for the Seattle Sounders will be our first official signing.
Le Toux originally tried out for FC Dallas in 2007, but rejected their offer of a developmental contract. A converted center back, he currently plays forward for the Seattle Sounders, where he totaled 17 goals through all competitions last year. Seattle Sounders Coach Brian Schmetzer had plenty of praise for the Frenchman, “As soon as we started training, I noticed that he was the fittest player I’ve ever seen. He just runs longer, harder and faster.”
Most scouts have projected Le Toux as more of an outside midfield player than a forward in the MLS. At 24, the lanky young man is recognized for his size, speed and amazing endurance. He could be the latest product from the factory of MLS forwards that is the Seattle Sounders. Both Brian Ching (Houston) and Maykel Galindo (Chivas USA) passed through Seattle to jump start their MLS careers.
Though not Henry, the French striker/midfielder is still a solid first signing for the franchise. He provides some MLS-ready talent that would probably be difficult to pick up in the expansion draft. If everything works out, maybe we will start 2009 with an all-France striker pairing (Le Toux, Henry). One can dream, right?
Category: Seattle Team NewsAlmost Too Funny to be True
By: Steve | 4 Comments
Rarely does a soccer headline grace the front page of the ESPN website. In this case, Brazilian World Cup star Ronaldo (not Cristiano) made the front page after a run in with some transvestite hookers in a Rio Di Janeiro hotel. Ronaldo brought two prostitutes to his hotel room, only to find they had brought along the old twig and berries.
Ronaldo (not Cristiano) attempted to pay the two gentlemen and leave, but one of the ladies decided to try and extort Ronaldo, asking for $30,000 US dollars to keep the story quiet. Luckily for our chubby friend and his trademark smile, prostitution is not illegal in Brasil.
“He admitted to everything, he wanted to have fun, but he committed no crime at all, it was immoral at best,” said Brasilian police inspector Carlos Augusto Nogueira.
Ronaldo is currently in Brasil after having surgery on his left knee. He should be able to play in 6th months as long as rehabilitation goes as planned. AC Milan officials have refused to comment thus far on whether or not legal sex with legal hookers is part of Ronaldo’s rehab process.
Ronaldo has been linked to rumors as a possible DP transfer target for the MLS. Unfortunately, there is currently no MLS club in a city where prostitution is legal.
Great Expectations
By: Steve | 5 Comments
One day I was sitting in my parents living room playing some FIFA 07 on my dads big screen TV. He came home from work, saw I was downstairs and came down to say hello. All of the sudden he was fixed on the screen. He sat down next to me.
“Who is playing?” he asked me.
Well, my suspicion was confirmed that he hadn’t suddenly taken interest in video games, which he hates. On a big screen, Hi-def TV, it is easy to confuse FIFA for XBOX with live soccer. But, I digress. Was it possible? After years of attending my middle school and high school soccer games because he had to, had my father suddenly taken interest in the world’s game?
It was. My dad had been hooked on soccer. For a couple months, my pops would take a seat with me on Saturdays and Sundays while I watched hours of matches on FSC.
Designate This
By: Steve | 16 Comments
It seems pretty logical that the Seattle Sounders FC will begin the 2009 season with at least one designated player on the roster. The owners have deep pockets (Allen, Roth), there is significant and impressive hype (14,000 season ticket deposits) and the team has been actively scouting everywhere from Europe to South America. There has been some speculation about both Henry and Riquelme, but I want to focus on some other possible transfers.
Here are 5 players, not including Henry or Riquelme, I think the franchise should consider.
Mock Up Kit Designs
By: Steve | 17 Comments
Here are some designs made by an Everett company called Luminous Creative
Apparently they were reviewed and rejected by the Seattle franchise, who chose to go with a different firm.
Here they are:
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