Almost Too Funny to be True

Rarely does a soccer headline grace the front page of the ESPN website. In this case, Brazilian World Cup star Ronaldo (not Cristiano) made the front page after a run in with some transvestite hookers in a Rio Di Janeiro hotel. Ronaldo brought two prostitutes to his hotel room, only to find they had brought along the old twig and berries.

Ronaldo (not Cristiano) attempted to pay the two gentlemen and leave, but one of the ladies decided to try and extort Ronaldo, asking for $30,000 US dollars to keep the story quiet. Luckily for our chubby friend and his trademark smile, prostitution is not illegal in Brasil.

“He admitted to everything, he wanted to have fun, but he committed no crime at all, it was immoral at best,” said Brasilian police inspector Carlos Augusto Nogueira.

Ronaldo is currently in Brasil after having surgery on his left knee. He should be able to play in 6th months as long as rehabilitation goes as planned. AC Milan officials have refused to comment thus far on whether or not legal sex with legal hookers is part of Ronaldo’s rehab process.

Ronaldo has been linked to rumors as a possible DP transfer target for the MLS. Unfortunately, there is currently no MLS club in a city where prostitution is legal.

Category: Designated Player, Seattle Sounders FC